Why sister in laws dont get along

Try to show a little compassion, says Chlipala. It's not easy being single , for anyone, when all she thinks she sees are happy couples all around her. Chat with her about what you miss about being single, or about your own dating struggles before you met her brother, says Chlipala. And since you're already taken, offer to be her wing woman. Remember, the less strife you have before the wedding the better, so taking one for your team can only help keep things peaceful.

Whether it's the number of squats you did at the gym or the hours you work in a week—she always does more. In fact, no matter what you tell her, she's already been there, done that, and over it.

The reality is, "she's probably insecure and needs to compete with you to feel like she measures up," says Chlipala. Again, a gentle approach is best. Compliment her on what she does well and what you admire about her. You can't fix her insecurity, but knowing that it's not just about competition might help you tolerate her behaviors better—at least until after the wedding.

Why is it then that so many of us end up facing problems with her? Ego struggles, evil gossip, comparisons, and blame games! Sisters-in-law come in varying proportions of sugar, spice, and everything nice! But there are a few types that are universal, which we can all identify with. But she refused. Some sisters-in-law just love complaining about you. Everything you do is found fault with and then gets transferred to the ears of your in-laws or even your husband.

Solution: So, what do you do when your sister-in-law hates you? If your sister-in-law is the gossiping type who loves telling tales, it is best to not trust her with secrets. Try and keep your interactions on personal matters as limited as possible. This applies to social media as well; best not to comment on her pictures if she keeps misconstruing them as interference!

It can be the best solution you have to ensure peace at home. Some sisters-in-law have annoying habits that never fail to exasperate you! Visiting at odd hours without calling first. Some of our sisters-in-law have really annoying habits that irritate and tire us out. But we cannot complain because she is part of the in-laws and criticising her would be seen as a sign of our bad behavior! Solution: As long as the habits are manageable, try and laugh them off, or, if she is younger than you, talk to her about them teasingly.

But if the habits are making your life difficult, tell her so in plain words. The controlling sister-in-law can be the most tiresome, as they expect you to abide by their rules and regulations, and can try to curb your independence.

She may interfere in your decisions, offer advice, and expect them to be followed to a T. It is a sweet and natural thing to do; of course, all of us miss our parents. Solution: The best thing is to have a heart-to-heart with your in-laws about it. Explain to them that you have a responsibility toward your parents just as you have a responsibility toward your in-laws. They need to trust you to divide your time well and ensure that your duties are not compromised on.

What business is it of hers or anybody else? The details of your married life and personal life are yours alone. It is up to you whether or not you want to share them with anyone. But not answering these questions poses the risk that she may take offense or even complain to her parents. Make sure her freezing cold behavior is completely unjustified.

You may have anticipated happy family gatherings when you got married, and hoped for a sister-in-law who would be a fun shopping buddy whom you could share family stories with over coffee. Accept the reality that this is not the case, and you'll have an easier time adjusting to your sister-in-law's chilly behavior. Keep conversations on a surface level, advises Hartwell-Walker. Don't expect her to share in your happiness and good mood, because it's likely that she is not a happy person.

Don't bend over backwards trying to please a cold sister-in-law. Such rejecting people sometimes believe that if they are cold enough, they can get you to leave the relationship, says psychotherapist Susan Forward, Ph. It is not unrealistic to expect your sister-in-law to treat you with basic courtesy and respect, notes Forward. If your sister-in-law makes disparaging remarks to you, you are completely within your rights to challenge them.

For example, if she says, "John was much happier before he married you," you might say, "While you have the right to your opinion, if you don't have anything supportive to say, I'd prefer that you not say anything at all.

While your sister-in-law won't be pleased about the limits you've established, eventually you may gain a grudging respect. Elise Wile has been a writer since Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.